How I Approach Coaching + Why It Gets Results

When I started considering offering coaching I had some fears around it. I had been someone that people came to for advice for all of my life, but to make a business of it?! Seemed scary. I quickly realized though that coaching isn’t about giving advice or having all the answers. It’s about so much more than that, and the further I dived in the more I realized that some of the pillars of coaching aligned with my own thoughts about the world — that we all are doing the best we can, that we all ultimately know what’s best for us, etc.

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With that realization under my belt I dove headfirst into coaching, got certified (in NLP, Hypnotherapy, EFT, TIME, and Life + Success Coaching), honed my message, my ideologies… and here we are.

I know a lot of people out there think that coaching is:

1. Someone telling you what to do

2. Someone laying out a blueprint and you following it

3. Someone having all the answers

And I want to break down why that’s not effective coaching and what an actual coach will be able to provide you with. The first thing you should take notice of in the statement above is how much that depends on someone else, versus you. That’s strike number 1 right there, friend.

Here’s the truth: when you put all the weight and pressure of your life, your choices, your abilities, your business onto someone else’s shoulders… it won’t work out. Ever. You are deflecting responsibility, you are putting out the message that you don’t believe in yourself, and you are setting yourself up for more work (and, honestly, wasting money).

Now, if you are looking for a CONSULTANT over a coach, then that’s a different story. If you want a Facebook Ad CONSULTANT to come into your business, give you the low down on Facebook Ads, what works, what doesn’t, and adjust your strategies and technical ish… that’s fine. But own what it is — consulting. And honestly, consulting will cost you a lot more because it’s so specific and so expert. And that’s great! There’s definitely a time and a place for that in business.

In my opinion, the time and place for that is when you know what the f* you’re doing and you’re ready to scale it majorly. I don’t think anyone needs a consultant right out of the gate, or at least not until they have a very clear vision and understanding of where they are going and how they would like to get there. And I’m not saying that because a consultant is bad or anything, on the contrary, in fact. Consultants are amazing and wizards in their own respective fields — YOU just aren’t ready for that on day 0 of your business. Heck, you aren’t ready for that RIGHT NOW if you feel unease about any aspect of your business. Running FB Ads to an offer that you hate offering, that drains you, that is out of alignment… that’ll be a waste of your money. Most good consultants probably would recognize that you aren’t ready FOR THEM and choose not to work with you first.

Okay, so, now that that is cleared up. If you are looking for a coach to come in and tell you what you should do for this and must do for that, that’s not going to serve you in the long run. True coaching, the kind that makes radical shifts and quantum leaps and major up-leveling… it doesn’t give you a cookie cutter answer. It enables you to find, trust, and act on your OWN answers. The ones you have, deep in there. The ones that maybe you’re resisting or ignoring or not trusting.

Here’s how I visualize things: picture a big pipe with water rushing through it and then off of that pipe are smaller pipes that water can pour out of as well. For me, the big pipe is source or the universe and all of us are the smaller pipes. But your pipe might be blocked right now, with all your ish — your negative thought patterns, your limiting beliefs, that one teacher who laughed at you when you said you wanted to run a business, the time your boyfriend said that was a stupid idea, etc. It’s gunked up in your pipe and blocking that stream of water from rushing through. And me? The coach? I’m like the plumber. And using tools in my tool belt, I help to get some of the gunk out of the way so that you can access all the magical-ness flowing through you, you know?

In my practice I focus on three main pillars:

Getting Into Alignment

Cultivating Your Confidence

Making It Effortless.

The first part, Alignment, involves figuring out what you truly want. See, we’ve gone through our lives just absorbing, absorbing, absorbing. Taking in this person’s opinions, that person’s ideas, our parent’s rules, our teacher’s discipline… and where we land is… well, nowhere. We land in this blob of everyone else’s crap and we don’t even know what we think or feel or want anymore. I think this is a funny example, but you know how it’s like a meme and a joke about asking what we want for dinner, and no one knowing? Just going back and forth between you and a friend or a significant other forever saying “idk?”... yeah that’s how we are living our whole f*cking lives.

Focusing on finding that alignment first will help you get over the dreaded ‘imposter syndrome’ and ‘comparisonitis’ too because you’ll start to notice that what you actually want isn’t what they are doing or what they have. That you each have your own unique little spot in the world and there’s more than enough to go around.

In my practice another big focus is doing the *real* work. So sure, posting on Instagram or writing blog posts or creating courses is work, but none of that work matters if you don’t have the right mindset. Sure, you can get to a certain level of success without the mindset (in my experience around 80k-100k you can just freaking HUSTLE to get). BUT, it won’t be sustainable, fulfilling, or feasible. Most of my client’s are riiiight at that spot, actually. For all intents and purposes they’ve “made it” but they’re realizing that they can’t keep working 14 hours a day, that they are feeling so disconnected from the work, and that they feel similar to how it was when they were starting… they’re back to wishing a secret magic pill would just show up and they could wake up a millionaire tomorrow.

I call it “the real work” because it’s the work a lot of people do not want to do. You think you don’t want to write a blog post right now? Okay but if it was writing a blog post or diving into why you don’t feel worthy enough to love your life with someone…. You’d probably choose the blog post, huh? But the “the real work” matters. Because that’s what’s holding you back, that’s what’s keeping things hard, that’s what’s making you second guess everything.

And then we can dive into more practical strategies – still not like running a launch campaign, or anything (again consulting!) but things that make a big difference in actually living life and being a business owner: decision making, problem solving, etc. The big thing that comes up time and time again is learning how to actually trust the answers you have inside of you.

The magical thing about all of this is that these steps, working through these pieces, make your business more sustainable. By operating from a place of alignment and cultivating that confidence in yourself and your abilities to lead you will automatically make decisions that are good for the long term. You’ll stop flying by the seat of your pants or stretching yourself too thin. It’s all ends up just puzzle-piecing together, perfectly.

So, with all of that said and done. Where are you in your business? If you’re hitting that ceiling of burnout and frustration, and starting to get an inkling that something isn’t quite right then it’s time for us to work together 1:1. You can click here to learn more.

Share with me in a comment or on Instagram what your big takeaway was from this post! I'd love to hear!

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