The Biggest Mistake You're Making When It Comes To Your Mindset

My own personal mindset journey started over 3 years ago, and I know it’s still in its infancy. I’ve moved leaps, strides, bounds in how I see and understand both the world and my mind AND I know there’s so much more work to do. The number one mistake I see when people decide they want to do this work is this —

They try to BE a new person, overnight. They try to overhaul everything in one go. 

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Creating a good mindset, a positive mindset that works FOR you instead of AGAINST you - that is a journey. A process. Sure, with NLP and hypnosis and other tools like that we can really uncover and work through limiting beliefs quickly - but the overall idea that you intentionally control your thoughts to create your reality? That’s a habit, that’s a pattern, and that takes time to form.

Like most other habits people want to curate, we tend to go “balls to the wall” and try to do everything all at once, overnight. You know what I’m talking about: I’m going to go to the gym, be vegan, grow my own vegetables, juice fast, AND do 1000 crunches a day starting tomorrow morning right after I finish this box of Oreos.

Feel familiar? Yeah, we’ve all been there. Never works, right?

The problem with that is we’re working from things like changing our behaviors or our environment when in reality what we are wanting to shift is at that identity level. Even if we lay our gym clothes out, set 18 alarms, and pay for a fancy gym membership - if we still identify as a person who loves Oreos and hates the gym… nothing will change. At least not long term.

A better method would be to change at that identity level. To let go of that old identity of “I’m a person who LOVES OREOS and eats a box at a time” or whatever you have and shift to “I’m someone who loves health and fitness” or whatever you want it to be.

So this same idea applies to people getting started in mindset work. Suddenly they’ve got the crystals and the tarot cards and 32 books downloaded to their Kindle, a subscription to Gaia and Headspace, a new journal, and affirmation post-its stuck all over their mirror and fridge and computer. I’m not calling you out - I have almost all of those things, too! But the issue comes that they do all of this and then…

Expect everything to just work.

They don’t do the work. They don’t change at the identity level. They don’t BECOME a more mindful, aware person. They don’t BECOME someone who controls their thoughts and creates their reality. They become someone who’s holding a pretty rock with their eyes closed listening to “tha-rt Bree-ish guy” on Headspace telling them to take a breath.

Again, not talking shit. I love crystals and Andy Puddicome (founder of Headspace) and all of these things. I’m just pointing out that they aren’t effective if you’re just putting these items on your to-do list and racing through them with no idea why or what or how and not working to shift your identity at the same time. Those things are tools that will help you do the work, but you’ve got to actually do the work, too.

We’ve GOT to change at that identity level. We’ve got to IDENTIFY as someone who IS the things we want to be — whatever that is. And that’s generally not an overnight one-and-done type exercise. That’s a commitment to asking yourself “what does someone with this identity think/do/act right now?” AND THEN THINKING/DOING/ACTING that. Following through. Forming the habits, forming the patterns. Abandoning the old identity - because you’re going to have to let that go to form your new one. 

And in that action is when we start to find our limiting thoughts and beliefs, our resistance, and we have to decide and choose to overcome those things too. For example, you might want to identify as a million dollar business owner and know that a million dollar business owner delegates a lot of work out, but feel resistance when it comes to some of those ideas in your business because “you can do it better” or whatever. That’s a limiting belief! That will need to be processed so that you can actually step into and embody that million dollar business owner mentality AND THEN create a million dollar business. That’s not overnight. That’s work. 

So, while most of this article might feel sassy and snarky (it’s just my writing style, idk) I’m actually, truly, saying all of this to tell you to lighten up. Be easier on yourself. You don’t have to change everything overnight - that’s not the goal here. You can start doing this work AND have a bad day, AND have a negative thought, and still be successful at doing this work. The mere fact that you are aware that there is work to do and WANT to dive in is something to honor and celebrate - MOST people go through their entire lives completely unaware of these concepts.

If you want the crystals and cards and all that - have that. I love that stuff. I use it daily. BUT, I want to encourage you to know that those things aren’t the work, they’re tools that may help with the work, but the real work comes down to you shifting your identity. That takes time, practice, dedication, and forgiveness for when you “mess up” (because you will, we all do - we ARE human). It’ll get easier - it’s just like tying your shoes or driving a car - something that eventually becomes automatic, if you keep practicing.  I know you can do it, and I’m excited to see what’s next for you.

Ready to dive into your own mindset practice with all the guidance you need to understand, apply, and implement? Learn more about coaching today

Check out the Instagram Live I did on this topic below!

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