Learning How To Answer Questions On Your Own

I’ve shared bits and pieces of this idea around before, but it deserves its whole own blog post because this is an important lesson. We’re talking about answering your own questions!

Okay so how this breaks down for-realsies, is acknowledging how powerful and wildly capable you actually are. The biggest lie we tell ourselves is that we aren’t good enough, smart enough, capable enough, worthy enough.

This shows up in a hundred different ways in your day to day life but one of the biggest ways I’ve noticed in our online business space is seeking so much external validation and answers, rather than knowing our own truths.

In my coaching practice, we spend a lot of time on this, I label it under the word confidence. We’re conditioned to think we have to find the answer to everything. I think in large part that is due to our education system, at least here in the US, for teaching us how to research instead of necessarily how to think and problem solve. 

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Actually, interestingly enough Will and I were watching Chef’s Table the other night and a chef on there was talking about this idea in his own world and industry. He was saying how good chefs can cook well, but great chefs invent new ways of cooking.

It was super powerful, and so relevant to my thoughts as of late so it felt like a message I was meant to receive, you know?

You can be a good business owner. You can follow the rules, check the boxes, and probably make some decent money. But I believe there’s a need in all of us, deep down, to be great. Maybe a great business owner, maybe a great friend, maybe a great mother, I can’t answer that for you… but to be great.  

So anyway, we’re taught to research, right? To just Google it. To, hold on, let me look it up real quick. And while that does serve us for some smaller things that maybe you just don’t know - like the definition of ubiquitous or the distance from Charleston to Palm Springs, sure, fine, look that ish up all day.

I see a problem starting when we start to look up ways of existing, things we’re supposed to believe, the right way to do stuff in business… when a client comes to me and asks, well how should I do it? Am I ready? Is this a good idea? Those kinds of questions…

They aren’t for me.

They aren’t for Google. 

They are just for you.

When I first came around to this idea and realization I used a pendulum a lot. If you’re not familiar it’s a tool for communicating with your subconscious. It won’t move on its own, but it will move based on your true intentions. So it’s limited in what it can answer, right?

Generally gotta stick with like Yes/No type questions but what it’s so powerful for is learning to trust that instinct or gut feeling as actually just your intuition. Inner being. Source.

So say you ask, “is launching this right now a good idea?” Well first of all - the question alone speaks volumes.

Clearly some part of you feels it’s not a good idea or you wouldn’t be questioning it at all.

Acknowledge that, first and foremost. Then the pendulum will move to indicate Yes or No — it’s not magic, it’s your subconscious affecting the tiniest muscle movements in your body. You could do this even without a pendulum and just use your body as long as you determine what is a Yes and what is a No.  

Let’s say it moves Yes. Okay — then at a subconscious level you know it is a good idea BUT that doesn’t mean you still don’t have some resistance, or else you wouldn’t have even asked the question, right? So I’d take that as an indicator to still dive in and explore why you are worried about it, why you think it may not be a good time, etc.

Let’s say it moves No. Okay — then at a subconscious level, you don’t think it’s right to launch now. That doesn’t mean don’t launch EVER, it probably means that you know you will self-sabotage, so still, work on why you are scared of launching first. Either way, there’s work to be done or you wouldn’t have asked the question at all, right?

Okay, that was a bit of a tangent about pendulums, but I think it’s a great practice if you are wanting to learn to hear your intuition or source better and recognize it for what it is, versus brushing it off all the time (like we tend to do).

But my point here is that you have the answers inside of you.

You know what to do or not to do. I believe so fully that we all know exactly the next step to take, it’s just a matter of getting out of our own ways and that’s where the inner work comes into play. 

A big issue that I see come up time and time again when it comes to hearing that voice and honoring it is that we struggle to trust ourselves. 

I don’t know of a study on this, but I’d assume that the people we see out there who are very successful in whatever ways have a high amount of trust in their abilities. They trust that they’ll do what they say they’ll do. They trust they are capable enough of doing it well. 

The opposite of that may be where you are struggling right now.

You want 10 clients, or you want a half a million dollars, or you want to launch that program… but at a deep level, you don’t trust you can do it. And therefore you don’t take the actions to make it happen, or you self sabotage. 

So to get back to the point of this post, part of answering questions on your own is hearing the answer and trusting that it is the right answer for you, in that moment. To get there, you’ve gotta build up that trust. An exercise I’ve helped people through is taking time to first find what the real distrust is: 

• Is it your ability to follow through?

• Your ability to make the right decision?

• Your ability to commit wholly?

And when you know what the real issue is — find proof otherwise. So if you’ve come to the conclusion that you actually don’t believe in yourself to follow through, find 10 examples in your life when you did.

It doesn’t have to be ground-breaking, it can be that you followed through on your decision to eat Chipotle for dinner. But start to find evidence that directly opposes that limiting belief. 

When I work with clients 1:1  we also use techniques to release those kinds of limiting beliefs entirely, which is a powerful practice. This actually gets a whole session in my 1:1 program and we work through multiple limiting beliefs that are holding the client back and the results are so incredible.

A belief that I think we all struggle with from time to time and the reason we look outside of ourselves for answers so often is that we assume someone else can do it better than we can. Someone else knows more than we do.

And what that truly does is put the blame or pressure on THEM to be correct, it’s us deflecting and not taking ownership over our lives, right? When we do that we are no longer living at cause and reverting back to old patterns of living at effect.

I want to bring up a pretty WOO topic to talk through my belief about diverting to other people for answers.

Here’s what I believe at this point in my life. We are all souls having a human experience, and the same energy that flows through you flows through me and it also heck, it flows through Beyonce too, y’all.

And all of that energy comes from a source, or the divine, or even God to some people, and it’s the same. It’s the same electric current floating through all of us and by that acceptance alone, no one can answer my questions better than me, because when my answers are everyone else’s answers too.

I know that’s diving a bit deep right now, and it’s okay if that idea doesn’t resonate with you fully. But I do think about this: why would anybody else know what’s best for you?

Nobody else knows you as well as you know yourself, so you are clearly the expert when it comes to you.

I love sharing these ideas and concepts with you because I know first hand just how powerful and life-changing these things are.

What do you think about this idea of answering your own questions?! Let me know over on Instagram!

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