The biggest obstacle I hear people bring up is that they just don’t have time to do that stuff. It sounds like it’s hours of thinking and sitting and being (or whatever) and like… you got a business to run, a family to take care of, and Peleton classes to show up for. Completely agree.
So the first thing to do is to create a little bit of a time for you.
Now, we could go down this very existential conversation about how time isn’t real and it’s a construct and it expands to the container you create, but I have a feeling none of that actually matters to you and that is PERFECTLY FINE. Don’t let your disinterest in that stuff deter you.
Let’s talk pragmatically about creating time. I’ll start here: doing this type of work is NOT about length of time. It’s not about dedicating hours and hours to ‘the work’. It’s about consistently implementing and getting to a place of ‘being’ rather than ‘doing’.
The problem I see often is that people focus on just doing it for an hour in the morning and then they forget about it for the rest of the day. It’s like working out for an hour and then eating McDonalds for the rest of the day, right? Doesn’t quite add up to the results you want.
So the reality is we don’t need a LOT of time. We need maybe 5, 10, or 15 minutes to do some concentrated work and then we need to focus MORE on “being” someone who is mindful or cares about their mindset. But more on that in a bit, for now, let’s talk about the 5, 10, or 15 minutes of concentrated time.
I know you’re busy. I know right now your morning might feel packed to the brim. So what if I told you that 5 minutes could be while you were brushing your teeth or putting on your makeup? Or, what if I challenged you to replace a current activity (like, for me that would be scrolling through Instagram…) with one that was overall more beneficial to you? What if I offered this thought for you to consider: why is time for YOU and yourself the last thing on your to-do list?
Something that I see happen a lot is that we assume it’s impossible before we give it a chance. We assume we could never dedicate an hour to a mindset practice, so we don’t even try to find 5 minutes. We assume we could never lose the 20 pounds, so we don’t even try to stop drinking soda. We assume we could never have a million dollar business, so we never try to make the first $5k. We assume we could never donate thousands of dollars a year to charity, so we never donate the first $5. The list could keep going, but basically we tend to cap ourselves before we even start.
And the truth is, all of those things are totally possible but we have to start somewhere. So I’m asking you for a few minutes a day to get a little quiet and reflective. I’m asking for a few minutes a day to be with yourself and take care of yourself (probably for once!) instead of focusing so much on everyone else. Just a few minutes! Maybe it grows and expands into a longer practice, maybe it doesn’t. We don’t have to make that decision now.
Next, Set An Intention
I’ll be real with you, for a long time I had no idea wtf people were talking about when they said ‘set an intention’. I knew what INTENTIONAL meant, and I’ve explored that a lot with my business — but something about the phrase ‘set an intention’ confused me. Did it mean a goal? Did it mean a desire? I was confused.
Here’s what I mean when I say ‘set an intention’ — before you sit down to meditate, to be still, to journal, to write gratitude, to do whatever… simply state (either out loud or in your head or write it down) what you INTEND (hope/desire/wish) to come of this practice.
Mine are usually that I am setting the intention to feel more grounded in my day or that I am setting the intention to feel more connected to myself and my desires (versus what “I should do”).
I wanted to give you tangible examples because if you’re anything like me, that phrase is kind of confusing. But yours can be anything, truly. I focus on a feeling, a mood, a way I want to be. For me, it’s not a goal, not like “I intend to journal and then that means I’ll make $10k this month” or “I intend to meditate and then I’ll not eat all the carbs in my house in one sitting” — something about those phrases feels like it’s stemming from not enoughness, or lack. I’d rather just focus on a way I want to feel or be.
Finally, Focus on BEING (Versus Doing)
Okay, like we started to talk about before — the last part of getting started with “mindset work” for me is this idea of BEING versus DOING. That’s the biggest hang-up I see happen. The focus will be on how much someone journaled, or how long they meditated, or how many times they did yoga, or whatever… and all of that is still stemming from this place of not-enoughness. It’s feels like what you’re really saying is, “once I journal for 5 hours I’ll be good enough to get this thing” or “once I meditate every day for 2 hours a day I’ll be more mindful” and it’s just… it’s coming in from an unhelpful angle.
It’s not about crossing some arbitrary finish line. It’s about being someone who is mindful, who cares about their mindset, who cares about their inner world. That’s a 24/7 job! Thinking good thoughts for 5 minutes in the morning doesn’t mean that you’ll not have any judgemental or self loathing thoughts for the rest of the day. Heck no, you’re a human. You’re here to feel the full gamut of emotions and experiences.
For me, it’s more about getting better and quicker at paying attention to my thoughts all the time. And each time doesn’t have to be this thing where I sit down and drag out the journal and analyze the fuck out of myself. It can just be, ‘oh that’s an interesting thought. I wonder where that came from’ and coming back to this childlike curiosity around our minds. Or maybe it’s realizing that you’re starting to spiral around a weird email, or an unexpected bill, and pausing for 30 seconds to take a few deep belly breaths. Or maybe it’s noticing when you take a random thought about ‘being a failure’ as a FACT, and affirming to yourself that ‘you are successful’ while scrolling through Instagram.
Often in Law of Attraction stuff people talk about Being versus Doing and that’s another unexplained, confusing concept. What it means to me is that it’s part of WHO I AM, not something I necessarily sit down and plan out and force. Now, with being a more mindful person I think we can practice it daily so that it becomes more automatic, but the true transformations for me rarely come just while I’m journaling or meditating, they come for me after the daily, consistent efforts that get easier and easier the more I do them. When one day I just notice that my main though has shifted from ‘what a fuck up’ to ‘this is working!’ and I can’t necessarily pin-point when that shift happened, but I know it happened because I spent time throughout my day (not just in my morning journaling) reminding myself that ‘this is working.’
Does that make sense? I hope these 3 steps are clear enough to help you get started with your own mindset work. Like I mentioned, my intention and goal is to make this work WAY more accessible and approachable, so if you do have any questions or need more clarity please do not hesitate to reach out and share your thoughts with me.
When you’re ready to dive into more tools and practices to support you on your journey, click the link below!
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Cheers to that!
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